• Jon Forrest

Things our mothers taught us

The Upward Look, by Jon Forrest

Things Our Mothers Taught Us

- My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

- My mother taught me about RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

- My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

- My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that’s why."

- My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident."

- My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about."

- My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

- My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

- My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

- My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

- My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

- My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do."

- My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home"

- My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

- My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, the wind will change, and you will stay like that."

- My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up."

- My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You act just like your father."

- My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

- My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you’ll understand."

- My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Author Unknown

I am excited about Mothers’ Day this Sunday! The First Christian Church family knows how to celebrate and honor moms and all women. Every mother and every woman (18 and over) will receive a beautiful gift. Then we will honor the oldest mother, youngest mother and the mother with the most generations present with another special gift. If we don’t have more than one tie, we will have a drawing for each mother present. I will present a message titled “A tribute to God’s Masterful Servants; Our Mothers!” We will also have a guest speaker present information concerning our local Pregnancy Resource Center to kick off our annual Baby Bottle fundraiser. Following the service, we will have a catered Fried Chicken dinner with all the trimmings. Mom’s will eat free and everyone else will be asked for a donation of a whopping $2 bucks.

This will be a tremendous celebration of Moms and Women everywhere.

Thankful for what Mom taught me,


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